Warning: insinuates sexual abuse.

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Why?

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I'd thought that I hated him,

but now I'm not so sure.

Could it be that his death

was my hatred's only cure?

I used to call him Grandpa

when I loved him long ago

but that love turned to somehting else

when he became someone I didn't know.

Those things he did to me

when I was just a kid-

those things shouldn't have happened.

They shouldn't have, but they did.

 

A few people have said, "Big Deal"

about the things he did to me.

They said it's just my price to pay,

for childhood isn't free.

 At his funeral there were many,

and also many tears.

What's wrong with me that I can only think

of what he did to me for years?

 

I've tried to just get over it

but it's not an easy thing.

If only it could fly from heart and head

and like a freed bird, take wing.

 

No, my childhood wasn't free,

It was paid for by living through hell,

and I hardened my heart those years ago,

but now I can't break the shell.

Now that he's gone, I'm the only one left

to remember his biggest sin.

I'm doing my best to let it all go,

but I'm afraid he's still gonna win.

 

The things he did to  me

when I was just a kid,

those things shouldn't have happened.

They shouldn't have, but they did.

 



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